The Blessing of Children

Feast of the Holy Family

    During Christmas we so often focus on children.  One of the greatest blessings in a family is a child.  A child signifies the fruit of the love between a husband and wife.  A child means that the human race has one more person to continue it.  The child shares certain traits with its parents.  A child means an increase in love, not only from the mother and father, but also, in a mysterious way, from the child itself, who can do very little on its own.  For this reason we celebrate with baby showers or diaper parties; we prepare food for the new parents; we offer to help in any way we can, especially during those first few very difficult months.
    And while all of this rings true for the earthly birth of a child, it is also true for the spiritual rebirth of a person, of whatever age.  A baptized person is the fruit of the love of God.  A baptized person means there is one more disciple, one more follower of Christ.  A baptized person is called to develop the traits of God the Father.  A baptized person means an increase of love from the Most Holy Trinity, but also becomes a vessel of love to return to the Trinity the love he or she first received, but also to share that same love of God with others.
    Right now our society and even our members of the Church at times struggle with welcoming earthly children and with passing on the faith to the next generation.  While it is no longer a constitutionally protected activity in the US Constitution, the citizens of Michigan voted to make abortion a protected activity within our State Constitution.  Our governor has touted how much easier it is now to get an abortion, and has tried to convince others to move here so that they can have abortions whenever they want to.  Apparently the math is lost on her that, when we encourage the killing of the next generation, it doesn’t help the population grow; you can’t add people by subtracting people. 
    While I will also never fully appreciate the challenges in raising a child, and a couple’s discernment through prayer and reflection of how many children to conceive using Natural Family Planning, as well as with compassion for those who want children but who cannot receive them, those who prayerfully choose to have more than two children are often, whether jokingly or not, ridiculed or their intelligence questioned.  “Don’t you know what causes that?” they are sometimes asked.  I once heard a person say, in response, “Yeah, and I like doing it!”
    Spiritually, too, some families struggle to pass on the faith.  In some extreme cases, they advocate delaying baptism until the child can choose for him or herself.  If we were to extend this analogically to the other important aspects of life, the foolishness of this position becomes quite apparent: I’m not going to feed my child until she can decide what she wants to eat; I’m going to let my child choose what clothes to wear, or whether to wear any at all; I’m not going to love my child until he asks for it.  Loving parents force all sorts of things of their kids that they need: food, clothing; and love, to name a few. 
    Kids are smart, too.  They can tell what parents prioritize.  So when sports always or often comes before Mass; when families don’t pray together in the home; when the name of Jesus is more often used as a curse word than to invoke God’s blessings; kids figure out if faith is something that happens when convenient, or if it is a regular part of family life.  People wonder why there are fewer attendees at Mass.  Frankly, it’s because attending Mass, learning about the faith, and prayer are not prioritized in many families.  Kids don’t learn how to follow Christ, or that it makes any real difference, so they stop going to church and growing in their relationship with God as soon as they can. 
    God promised Abraham descendants as numerous as the stars.  And while Abraham struggled with seeing how this could happen, God fulfilled His word when Abraham and Sarah conceived Isaac, whose descendants quickly multiplied in Egypt, and who became a nation, a group of people in their own right.  But it went beyond Abraham’s physical descendants.  The Gentiles, the non-Jews, who were joined to Christ through baptism, also becomes descendants of Abraham, because Christ is a son of Abraham.  God fulfilled His promise through physical and spiritual means.
    But for this to happen, Abraham had to have faith in God, and offer to God the sacrifice of his family.  This happened in a very dramatic way through the almost-sacrifice of Isaac on Mount Moriah, as the Letter to the Hebrews reminded us.  For us, this means offering our family to God, not through death, but through their lives.  Is Mass a priority for you as a family, or is it something you get to if it’s not too inconvenient?  Do you pray at home each day as a family?  Do you pray before meals?  Do you share the stories about Jesus, and, as the children grow, the teachings of the Church?  Another great tradition that has been lost is for a parent to sign their children with the sign of the cross on their foreheads before they leave for school or just to hang out with friends.  This simply gesture, which is proper to parents, reminds the children that they belong to Christ through baptism, and asks Christ, along with their guardian angels, to watch over them wherever they go.  The faith becomes as natural a part of life as eating, getting dressed, and going to school or work.
    Children are a great blessing.  They are, not only the future, but the present.  If we wish our society and our church to grow, we should support life, including helping mothers who have little to bring their children to birth.  We should make sure that, in our families, the faith life is not optional, but is part of how we live every day.  And if you can’t have children for whatever reason, find ways to help other parents and other families.  Because families who center themselves on God and not on the lesser goods of the world help make our society and our church better places to be, filled with more of the grace of God.

God Isn't Santa Claus

 Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time
    When we’re young we often picture God as something like Santa Claus.  Our parents may encourage us to think of God like Santa Claus because we ask Him for things that we need and/or want.  This is not necessarily a bad thing, as, when we’re children, we should learn to go to God whenever we need something.

    But if we stay in this mode into adulthood, it stunts our spiritual growth and our capacity to be in a deeper relationship with God.  Specifically, it stunts our prayer life.  And prayer is certainly the theme of our first reading and Gospel today.  
    When we’re stuck in the Santa Claus God mode, all we do is go to God when we need something or want something.  “God, please let this girl like me”; “Lord, I need a better job”; “God, let me win the Mega Millions, and I’ll give some to the Church, and it won’t ruin me like it ruined all those other people”; or, as the song says, “Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz”.  And then, if we get what we want, God goes back into the distance, to be beckoned when some other desire arises, like a genie we summon from a lamp.  Or, if we don’t get what we want, we can write off God altogether, and figure that He’s not worth our time if He’s not going to give us what we want, especially if we feel we’ve been good and deserve it.
    God invites us to a more adult relationship with Him.  God wants us to consider our relationship with Him more in the vein of a child or a spouse.
    When we view ourselves as God’s beloved children, and Him as our loving Father, then we have confidence to ask Him for the things that we need.  And Jesus tells us today to be persistent, as children often are when they need something.  God can’t be worn down, like earthly parents, but how many parents have relented because their child kept asking them for something.  Of course, it has to be for something good, or something we need.  God doesn’t give us a snake instead of a fish, or a scorpion in place of an egg.  God gives us good gifts.     
    And children learn this lesson from their parents as well: if they ask for something that is not good, or something they don’t need, they don’t get it.  Children may ask for ice cream every night, but they don’t (and shouldn’t) get it, as it’s not healthy for them.  Soon enough, and sometimes with an explanation, children learn that their parents will give them anything they need, and sometimes even things they want, as long as it’s in the child’s best interest.  So with God: when we ask for something good, and are persistent in our asking, God gives us what is good for us and what we need.  
    But children do not only ask parents for stuff they want.  Children also go to their parents to say, “I love you,” and “thank you,” and just to be with the ones who love them.  God also wants us to come to Him when we don’t need something, when we just want to be surrounded by His love.
    When we view ourselves as God’s beloved spouse, we also have confidence to talk freely with God.  Of course, the analogy of a spouse falls down, because spouses are co-equals, while God is not our equal.  But God does want to hear from us openly and with confidence, even while respecting God’s majesty.  Look at the first reading: it starts with God sharing with Abraham the plans to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah for their sexual wickedness, sins, the Bible says and the Catechism affirms, which cry out to heaven for divine justice.  And then Abraham tries to barter with God for the safety of the cities (which doesn’t change what happens, because there aren’t even 10 innocent people in the cities).  But Abraham has that confidence that a husband would have with his wife, or a wife would have with her husband, to talk about what is important, and to see what the options are and ask for a reconsideration.  Abraham is not rude or arrogant when talking with God (good luck getting what you want from a spouse if you’re being a jerk about it), but does not fear to bring up his point of view and make sure God understands where He is coming from.  Jesus told His Apostles at the Last Supper, “‘I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing.  I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.’”  Through baptism, we become the family of God, and God wants to share with us His plans, and He wants us to share with Him our desires.  
    It is easy to get stuck in a childish view of God, and a childish way of approaching Him where we only go to Him when we need something.  Instead, we should rely on God for what we need, but do so in a chidlike way where we can go to God, not only for what we need, but also to thank God and spend time with Him because we love Him and He loves us, and know that He give us what we need, even if we don’t always know what that is.  We should, with the confidence of a spouse, share with God our hopes and doubts, our fears and our dreams, and listen attentively to God’s plans.  
    Don’t be stuck in a childish view of God.  Turn to Him in prayer each day, not just for what you want, but to spend time with Him in love and gratitude, and listen for how He communicates that He loves you. 

Do Not Fear

Twelfth Sunday in Ordinary Time

What do we do when we’re afraid?  When we’re younger, we often try to hide underneath the blankets (sometimes even going into the fetal position because the blankets don’t quite cover everything from the tip of the head to the soles of our feet).  We might turn lights on to see what is there.  I’m sure night lights are still on sale and a popular buy for some children’s rooms.  We might run to a parent when we’re afraid, either as a child or as an adult.  I’m sure some parents here have been woken up in the middle of the night with a child crawling into their bed after a bad nightmare.  Some parents have received heart-wrenching phone calls from an adult child who is going through a difficult or traumatic time.  Fear is a very powerful force.

But Jesus today says not to fear three different times: “‘Fear no one’”; “‘do not be afraid…’”; and again “‘do not be afraid…’”.  In the first place he speaks about fear of someone concealing something, or a secret, or not being totally honest.  In the second place he speaks about fear of those who can attack our person.  And in the third place he talks about fearing about our physical needs.

Sometimes we can be afraid of speaking the truth.  We’re afraid of what someone might think, or maybe that if we speak out, someone will say something else about us.  Maybe we’re afraid about talking about Jesus.  Maybe we’re afraid because we worry that someone will think we’re a Jesus freak or a hyper-religious person.  To that fear, Jesus covers us with the blanket of His love, and says, “‘Fear no one.’”  In our first reading from the Book of the Prophet Jeremiah, Jeremiah was afraid of what the people would say about him because he was speaking the word of God.  He hears the whispering of those around him; he hears his so-called friends denouncing him to find fault with his message, which is not his message, but is a message from God.

Fear of those who can do physical harm is also easily understood.  Our bodies naturally put us in a fight or flight mode when we think someone might do us harm.  And certainly Jesus is not saying that we cannot defend ourselves.  But He is inviting us to trust in Him, even when we are threatened with bodily harm.  Because while the body is good, it is the soul that is the most important.  We can struggle with all sorts of bodily ailments, disfigurements, or disabilities, but our soul could be as strong as ever with God’s help.  If our soul is in a good place with God, then while our body can be tortured (either from enemies, or even just from old age or sickness), what others do to the body does not necessarily have any effect on what happens after we die, which is what we should be most concerned with.

Think about our brothers and sisters who are Catholic and Orthodox in the Middle East.  Some of them, especially in Syria, Iraq, and Egypt, go to Mass, and they must know that, given the terrorists in those countries, their church could be bombed or set on fire.  And yet they go to Mass.  Why?  Because they want Jesus; they want to hear the Word of God and receive the Body and Blood of Jesus in the Eucharist; because in some cases there, and in other places around the world, they only have Mass once a month, and it means that much to them.  But they are willing to risk life and limb to be connected with Jesus and spend time with him (and their Masses are often even longer than one hour!!).

Fear about our physical needs is also a tough fear to fight.  We know we need food, water, housing, and clothes to survive. But we are worried that we will not have enough.  Especially here in Flint, we are afraid that our water is not drinkable.  Those outside Flint don’t understand why at least some people, and maybe some here, are skeptical when the city or the State or the feds tell us that the water is fine to drink.  But we have been burned before.  So how can we trust in God to provide these things?  

We can trust in God to give us the gifts we need to work hard and contribute to society to the best of our ability, and receive as payment the money we need to take care of ourselves.  Certainly, we need to prioritize.  If we put cable TV ahead of a meal, or even fancy food ahead of the basic staples that we need to survive, then our priorities need to be rearranged.  While the cost of living has gone up, and maybe more than our wages, think back to your parents or your grandparents: so many of them were able to provide a good living on one income.  I’m not saying only one person should work, but I think our parents and grandparents prioritized better than we do (at least in general).  Our parents or grandparents probably didn’t take exotic trips every year for Spring Break, or have the newest gadgets.  But they put good food on the table, and often times they paid for a Catholic education.  There’s nothing wrong with Spring Break in Panama City Beach or having a gadget, but they should be placed behind other more important needs and wants.  And think about your parents or grandparents: maybe they didn’t have it all, but they never wanted for anything they needed.  And for those who had more, they often passed along their resources to those who legitimately could not work, or maybe just helped someone make it for a few weeks who had fallen on some hard times.  We also become the ways in which God takes care of all His children.  But no matter what, God cares for us, and knows what we need.

So we don’t need a blanket to hide us; we don’t need an LED lightbulb to illumine the darkness; we simply need God, and to trust in Him to help us not be afraid.  Talk to others about Jesus; work on having a strong soul; prioritize life with the truly important things at the top of the list.  With God, we need not be afraid.