Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Probably one of the most common questions I get, especially after people gain more ease and confidence in asking a priest questions, is some why I chose the priesthood when it meant that I wouldn’t have a family of my own. It’s a great question, and given our second reading today, I want to look at virginity, celibacy, and chastity.
Chastity is the virtue the governs our sexual desires. A lot of people think chastity means that you don’t have sex. They confuse it with celibacy. But chastity is a virtue for every Catholic, and simply means that we’re using our sexuality appropriately: if we’re single, no sexual activity at all or even misusing our sexuality by ourselves; if we’re married (and marriage is only between a man and a woman), only having sexual activity with one’s spouse, and only that which is loving, unitive, and open to life. So a husband and a wife can be chaste (c-h-a-s-t-e) when they are trying to conceive a child together and engaging in the activity by which children are conceived.
Chastity is one of the evangelical counsels (chastity, poverty, and obedience) which can be vowed for one’s personal sanctification. Vows are for the sanctification of the individual, though they also benefit the Church. A vow of chastity is usually made when one becomes a member of a religious institution, like the Dominicans, Franciscans, or Benedictines, and means that a person will live as a single person for the rest of his or her life.
Chastity is one of the virtues that many people struggle with today, as the misuse of sexual activity, which includes using another person simply for one’s gratification, whether in person or online, runs rampant and society often praises unchastity. But chastity is for everyone who follows Christ, not just those who make a vow of chastity.
Celibacy is a promise made to God through the Church to abstain from anything proper to the married state, or even dating, and to practice the virtue of chastity as a single person. Single people who are not dating, or who are dating but not engaging in sexual activity, are not celibate; they are chaste. Celibacy, as a promise, is for the benefit of the Church, just like other promises made are for the benefit of the Church (marriage vows are technically marriage promises, since they are for the good of the Church). During my ordination Mass to the diaconate, I made a promise to God, through Bishop Boyea, to live celibacy as a witness to the kingdom. That promise can only be dispensed by the pope or his representatives in Rome.
Virginity is the state where one has not engaged in sexual activity at all. It can be simply the reality of a person’s life (as in a young person who has never committed the sin of fornication or adultery). Or it can be made as a vow by someone through consecration. While one may be able to regain virginity in a spiritual way, physical virginity cannot be regained once lost, whether for males or females. One does not have to be a virgin to promise celibacy, as some priests have lived an unchaste life before they were ordained, then had a conversion, and then promised celibacy at ordination.
So what does all of this mean? And why did St. Paul say what he did in the second reading, about the unmarried man or woman being anxious about the things of the Lord and so on? Some see celibacy or virginity simply in a practical light, and our reading might seem to suggest that at first. St. Paul talks about how a person who is unmarried, whether a celibate or a virgin, concerns him or herself with the things of the Lord. And I will certainly say that, while there is a part of me that would like to be married and enjoy physical relations with a wife, and conceive children, I can’t imagine having to care for a family and a parish. There are Catholic priests who are legitimately married and then become priests, mostly Eastern Rite Catholics, and I don’t know how they do it. I don’t even have enough time for a dog, let alone a wife and kids!
But celibacy and virginity is not simply about practicalities. Celibacy and virginity witness to the heavenly life, where, as Christ says, there is no marrying and giving in marriage. Why not? Because in heaven, we are focused most intently on God and worshiping Him. This is not to say that we’ll have amnesia in heaven about a spouse if a person was married on earth. But that special relationship of marriage, which is meant to witness the life of the Trinity on earth, is no longer necessary, because in heaven we behold the Trinity face to face in the beatific vision. There are no sacraments in heaven, because we don’t need physical realities to communicate the spiritual realities of God; we receive the spiritual realities or mysteries of God directly, unmediated.
Those who promise or vow themselves to focus directly on God are reminding us that, even though marriage is very good, and not just because it creates children who increase the size of the Church, even family comes second to God, and in heaven we will rely totally on God for our happiness, whether it be in our sexuality (the vow of chastity), our possessions (the vow of poverty), or even our will (the vow of obedience). This is why consecrated life, those who vow the three evangelical counsels of chastity, poverty, and obedience, is, in one sense, the highest form of life on earth, because it most perfectly (in an objective sense) imitates the life of heaven while still on earth. That is why the Church so often praises virgins, especially the Blessed Virgin Mary, because they dedicated themselves entirely to God, which is something we all hope to do in heaven.
And, for all people, the virtue of chastity still applies, because it properly orders our precious gift of sexuality according to the plan of God, whether that plan for us is marriage, celibacy, or virginity. All people can be saints, and part of being a saint is integrating our sexual drive into the vocation to which God has called us. May we all be chaste–whether priest, married couple, or single individual–and seek to follow God through the vocation to which He has called us so that we might enter heaven and enjoy eternal happiness and fulfillment by worshipping God for eternity.
