Distinction without Jealousy

Tenth Sunday after Pentecost
    In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.  One of the great gifts of the human mind is the ability to distinguish one thing from another.  We (generally speaking) see different colors, different shapes, different textures, etc.  Our senses give us distinctions in sounds or tastes or smells.  And we find some shapes, colors, smells, tastes, etc., more appealing than others.  
    But with this great gift comes a certain danger: the desire to have what others have.  We see something we like, and we notice that we don’t have it, and we want it, either simply to have, or perhaps even that the other person be deprived of that good.  We see this all the time with kids: two children have their own toys, but for whatever reason, one child wants the toy that the other has, and perhaps the other doesn’t want to share right away.  Or maybe you find yourself getting the same toy for both children simply to try to avoid that conflict in the first place.
    We call this desire for some other good (or perhaps other person) jealousy when it exists by itself, and envy when we seek to deprive another of that good so that we can have it.  It includes a certain pride or presumption that we know best what we should have or if another should have it.  
    Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a certain excellence.  In the earthly realm, we might see a bigger house and think how nice it would be to have more rooms for all the children.  Or we might work hard to make sure that we can afford, along with the basic necessities of life and basic charitable given, some fun things or some vacation time.  
    But, we tend not to stop at simply things that we can strive to achieve for the betterment of our lives but move on to things that we don’t really need.  I think this can especially be a challenge for a couple of generations of young adults who have grown up with great wealth from their financially very successful parents and grandparents.  Using my own family as an example, we grew up with a nice house, always getting pretty much any food that we wanted, having an RV of some sort for the camping trips we would take many weekends in the summer, and occasional trips to other States.  And yet, one of my parents grew up in a one-income families, with one car, and my mom’s family took one main vacation per year, and that was driving down to Texas in a station wagon without air conditioning for a week to see my grandfather’s family while the GM plant was being retooled for the next production year.  But if I would have started on my own rather than going to seminary, I can see how I would have wanted exactly what my parents had as adults, rather than what they experienced as children.  As a very affluent society, we should remember that we often have more than we need, and it may take some time as young couple start out to have all the niceties that they remember from their own childhoods.

    But it can also happen spiritually.  And St. Paul in the epistle reminds us that there are many gifts.  That same observation of differences can lead one to become jealous or even envious of other’s spiritual gifts.  We notice virtues that others demonstrate, or maybe even some special spiritual gifts like healing, or maybe spiritual insight, or they’re family looks pious all the time, and we get jealous because we work hard at that virtue but never seem to make progress.  Or we don’t have any special gifts that we can tell that are demonstrated with others.  Or our family doesn’t simply walk quietly into the pew and kneel down to pray.  And yes, it can be good to work towards virtue and try to help our family recognize the special nature of a church building and appropriate behavior in it, but we shouldn’t be jealous of what others have spiritually.  And, for the record, sometimes kids, any kids, are just rambunctious.  I’d rather have a lot of kids with the noise they bring than no kids and pristine silence.  We’re happy to have your children here, even if sometimes you feel like they’re a distraction.
    Others preach better than I, or better administrate parishes than I, or envision new possibilities more creatively than I.  But those are their gifts, not mine.  I do the best I can with what God has given me and use those gifts, whatever they are, for His glory and the building up of the Church.  God doesn’t want me to focus on others’ gifts, except to praise Him for giving those gifts to those He decided needed those gifts for the building up of the Church.  God wants me to praise Him for the gifts I have, in whatever measure, and use them as best as I can to build up the Church.  Perhaps someone else looks at me and admires what God is doing through my gifts, just as I look at others and admire what God is doing through their gifts.  But the key is not to become jealous or envious.  

    St. Augustine wrote, “I tell you again and again, my brethren, that in the Lord’s garden are to be found not only the roses of his martyrs.  In it there are also the lilies of the virgins, the ivy of wedded couples, and the violets of widows.  On no account may any class of people despair, thinking that God has not called them.”  God calls each of us to a beauty in His kingdom which compliments each other.  We distinguish different types of beauty, but each beautiful thing adds to the overall beauty that God desires.
    So while we notice differences as part and parcel of being human, do not let the notice of others lead you towards jealousy or envy.  Rather, recognize what great things God is doing in both them and you, each with your own gifts, to build up His kingdom.  Where He lives and reigns, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, God for ever and ever.  Amen.  

Green Monsters

Fifteenth Sunday after Pentecost

    In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.  A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to check off a number of the New England States that I had not yet visited in my quest to see all 50 States before I’m 50.  One of the highlights of that trip was staying in Boston and being able to attend a Red Sox game at Fenway Park, home of the infamous green monster.
    St. Paul instructs us today about another green monster, or green-eyed monster, the sin of envy.  In fact, in his treatment of envy in the Summa, St. Thomas Aquinas quotes this exact passage in affirming the sinfulness of envy.  Envy, the Angelic Doctor writes, is “sorrow for another’s good,” which is a quote of how St. John Damascene defines envy.  But St. Thomas further explains that when we envy someone, “we grieve over a man’s good, in so far as his good surpasses ours.”  In other words, we see something good in another, and we get upset because we don’t have that good ourselves, or don’t have it in the same quantity.      Now, to say that we’re upset because we don’t have something isn’t always bad.  Fr. Nick Monco, a Dominican friar, has a whole video series on the vices through Open Light Media (this is my free plug for a great YouTube channel set up by the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist).  And when it comes to envy, he uses the example of a friend who plays the piano well.  He notes that if we notice our friend plays the piano well, and we get upset because we don’t and realize that we, perhaps, wasted opportunities in the past to work at playing the piano, or it spurs us on to take up piano lessons again so that I, too, can excel in the good of playing piano, that’s not envy.  But if we were to get upset that our friend plays the piano well because it makes us look bad, that would be envy.
    Envy gives away the joy that we should have in another’s excellence.  When I notice something good in my neighbor, it should help me to love that person more.  I am horrible at math.  Can’t stand it.  So when I see someone else who excels in math, that should cause me to rejoice in the gifts and talents that the other person has that I do not.  Love of the other, charity, helps me to recognize that there are different members in the Mystical Body of Christ, each which has its own role and its own excellence, which, when applied together, cause an increase in the proper functioning of the entire body.  Envy, on the other hand, seeks to take away the legitimate diversity of the other members, and causes disunity simply because I do not have a particular gift.
    Envy breeds the harmful type of ambition, which I would say occurs when I strive to be the best, not for the good of excellence, but to gain power or prestige.  We do not err when we seek to use our talents in the best way possible.  But if I only do my best so that I get a promotion, or get further ahead in the company or in life than that other person, then I have left the realm of magnanimity, greatness of soul and settled for weakness that fears any other competition to my own good.
    Envy can often come because we lack healthy self-esteem, or lack a certain confidence in another’s love for us.  Think of two children playing at home.  One child does something well, and gets celebrated for that new achievement.  The other child, not wanting to lack the seeming extra love of the parents, tries to take away from the first child by doing something else that will cause the parents to stop praising the achievement of the first child, and turn the focus back on the other child.  When I know that I am loved, even if I don’t have the gifts that others have, I don’t see love as a limited resource that has to be hoarded, or else I may run out of it.  When I know that I am loved, I find it easier to rejoice in the good of the other because I know that love shared is love increased, and the gift of love for one does not decrease love that I can receive.
    Envy especially becomes dangerous when it comes to spiritual matters.  Spiritual envy occurs when I see another person with a spiritual good that I don’t have, or that another person is growing in grace while I am not.  Again, I can see a spiritual good that I don’t have, and it causes me to work harder to be open to that good, and that is not envy.  But when I don’t want another to grow in grace because I am not, that is certainly spiritual envy, and St. Thomas warns us, “it is accounted a sin against the Holy Ghost, because thereby a man envies, as it were, the Holy Ghost Himself, Who is glorified in His works.”  True charity rejoices when another receives a special gift from God, rather than sorrows because I do not have it.
    How do we fight envy?  Rejoice in what others have.  We can use the desire of what others have to push us on to achieve goals, and that is good.  But rejoice in that good, no matter what it might be.  Praise God for showering His gifts upon another when we recognize the gifts of another.  When we feel that tinge of envy, remind ourselves that the love of God for us cannot be decreased simply because another’s good is increased.  Have confidence in your own goodness, not in a prideful way, but in the way that God asks us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, and so we have to have a certain type of healthy self-love or appreciation that we are a child of God.  Take an inventory of the ways that God has blessed you, because it’s different than the way He has blessed others.
    Don’t make room for the green-eyed monster.  Fight to conquer it just as so many have fought to conquer the Green Monster at Fenway Park in Boston.  Do not be sad at another’s good, but rejoice that God has blessed others with particular graces, just as He has blessed us: the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  Amen.