Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time
There is a stereotype of a person who, when not getting the answer he or she wants, especially at a business, starts arguing to get his or her way, especially asking to see the manager. Unfortunately for those with this name, this type of person has been called a Karen. A Karen is going to get her way, no matter how long she has to talk to the person or the manager. And sincere apologies to all those named Karen here, who, I am sure, are wonderful people.
Perhaps this is the image that comes to mind when we hear the second part of today’s Gospel, where Jesus talks about a friend who needs three loaves of bread, and won’t stop asking until the friend, who has already gone to bed, gives him what he wants. In other words, if I just go all Karen on God, He will give me whatever I want. But is that really what our Lord is saying? Does God want us to be so convinced that we’re right that we refuse to give up any ground when it comes to something that we want?
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| St. John Henry Newman |
God calls us to have a childlike trust in Him. And we know that experience of a child who does not worry that mom and dad will provide what the child needs. But perhaps, as we hear childlike, we turn it more into childish, like the spoiled three-year-old who won’t stop crying and screaming unless it gets the candy bar it wants from the checkout lane at Meijer’s, the younger version of a Karen.
We could be forgiven for hearing both the first reading and the middle part of the Gospel and thinking that God wants us to ask for what we want until we get it. After all, Abraham keeps bartering with God not to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah until God seems to relent and promises not to destroy it if He can find only ten good people in the cities. And certainly, God does want to teach us about persistence in prayer and not giving up on what we truly desire and what we think we truly need, even if we don’t get it immediately.
But God is not a salesman nor a manager that we can wear down until He gives us what we want. God is our loving Father. And while sometimes He does allow us to keep asking until the time is right to give us what we desire, we also have to make sure that our desires are in accord with God’s will. God will not give us something that we don’t need, or something that is actually harmful for my salvation, no matter how adamantly or persistently I ask for it. And some people lose faith when they do not get what they want; they feel that God has not answered their prayers.
We might understand this if a person asks God to win the lottery, or for some material good. We understand how God doesn’t give us everything we want if what we want doesn’t fit a need. But we find it more difficult to understand when our request in prayer seems more noble and asks for something we perceive as a great good. I’m thinking in particular of the many different scenarios when a loved one is unexpectedly in a hospital: it may be a grandparent, parent, friend, or even a child. We pray for God to heal our loved one, and we don’t understand why God wouldn’t heal that person. Certainly a person’s life, maybe even a very good person, a faithful and devoted Catholic, has more worth than money or material possessions. How could a loving God not answer that prayer? And if we don’t get healing immediately, then certainly God would grant our prayer if we are persistent. After all, He’s the one who said, “‘ask and you will receive.’”
But I have been in too many situations, and known too many people who have gone through situations, where the loved one dies. And where is God in that? Why didn’t He answer my prayers, or the prayers of tens, hundreds, maybe even thousands of people who were asking for a good thing?
This is where we have to return to heart speaking to heart, of the lover and the beloved in conversation. At the end of the day, we don’t know why God answers some prayers in the way we want, sometimes of people who are not so good, and God answers the prayers in the way we don’t want, even though we strive to be good disciples and faithful Catholics. We don’t always know the mind of God.
In those moments, we can certainly pour out our hearts and tell God that we are upset that our loved one didn’t make it, or that we didn’t get some spiritual good that we wanted. There is nothing wrong with telling God that His answer, which sometimes is no, doesn’t seem to make sense with what we know of a loving Father who gives His children good gifts. But we also follow the example of Job who, upon losing everything–property, his children, and even his own health–said, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job loved God, and could trust in God’s plan, even when it didn’t make sense to him. Job hadn’t even heard the response of God yet, though he was listening, but could trust that God had a plan where that loss made sense in the divine economy.
The message of the readings today is not to annoy God until He acquiesces to our requests. The message of the readings is to be persistent, but to also know that God always answers our prayers, even if we don’t get what we want. He wants us to bring our needs and our wants to Him, and He promises to do what will work out best for salvation history, even when it doesn’t make sense to us. That only comes as an act of faith. And the act of faith only makes sense for one who loves us deeply, and one whom we love as deeply as we can. When it comes to prayer, God does not ask us to be a Karen, but a Job.
