Identifying with St. Peter

Fourth Sunday after Pentecost
    In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.  This Gospel passage that we heard today is one of my favorites.  I have always enjoyed hearing the stories about St. Peter from the Gospel, probably because I find myself like St. Peter at so many parts of my life: cynical, questioning, a leader, a spokesman, chastised, moments of greatness, moments of great weakness, redemption, and more.  In today’s Gospel we have a number of those moments.

    At the beginning we see our Lord simply commandeer, as it were, St. Peter’s boat.  Christ gets in, and Peter takes him to the water so that Christ can preach to the crowds.  In reflecting, this is the movement of grace in our own lives.  There are moments when we are open to God’s grace of which we’re not even aware.  But there is an openness, because the grace of God does not go where it’s not welcomed.  Still, it may be an implicit welcome, one of which we’re not fully aware.  One type of grace that exemplifies this is prevenient grace.  Prevenient grace is the grace that literally “comes before,” which draws us to God even when we don’t feel like we want to be close to God.  This is the grace that pushes us to confession when we have sinned.  This is the grace that opens us up so that other types of God’s grace can fill us and compel us to do great things for the Lord.  Nothing good happens simply by our willing it.  Anything good that we can do is a result of God’s grace.  Somehow, St. Peter was open to our Lord taking over at that moment, and so He did.
    But next, Christ asks something that seems contrary to our understanding.  In the case of our Gospel, even though Peter had been fishing all night, Christ tells him to put out into deep waters for a catch.  We hear a bit of the cynicism in Peter’s first words, saying that they had been fishing all night.  Our Lord was a carpenter and a rabbi.  He was not a fishing expert.  Peter was the fishing expert, being told what to do by someone who had no knowledge of the trade.  It would be as if I told an engineer, or auto mechanic how to do their job.  How many times in our life does our Lord ask something of us, something that we don’t feel makes any sense, or seems contrary to our experience, and we, at least at first, balk at His suggestion?
    But Peter does cast his nets, and he not only catches some fish, he catches so many fish he has to call other boats, and even with their help the boats almost sink, so laden are they with the plethora of fish.  You can imagine St. Peter’s draw dropping.  You can almost hear him say, “But…but…but…”.  We may sometimes think that God can do small stuff, can effect small changes, or changes that gradually occur over time.  But sometimes God wants to make big changes, to exhibit His omnipotence, His power over everything.  Think of your own life: when has God done something large and unexpected for you?
    And then, in that moment where God shows us what He can do, we are aware of that earlier cynicism, that earlier doubt that we expressed, maybe in our words, maybe only in our hearts.  And we recognize that we are sinners, unworthy of the presence of the Lord.  St. Peter said, “‘Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.’”  Maybe our version is, “Lord, you can find someone better for this.  I’m not the person you need or want.  There are others more qualified than I for what you’re seeking.”  
    Notice what Christ doesn’t say.  He doesn’t say, “You’re right, there are other people more qualified than you.”  He doesn’t say, “See?  You shouldn’t have doubted.”  Not even a “C’mon, man!”  Christ simply says, “Be not afraid,” and then tells Peter he will be catching men in the future, not fish.  As a side note, Christ’s words are quite prophetic, as St. Peter, in the rest of the Gospels from this point on, can never seem to catch a fish without Jesus making it happen.
    One of the treasures of the Gospels is that they so often mirror our life.  We read these passages, and then think of times in our own life that seem eerily familiar.  They’re not ever exactly the same, but there’s a similar theme or pattern.  And I’m sure this is true with this passage for more people here than just me.  How many times have we doubted God, then God does something great, and our response is to pull back, to try to shrink away because we are ashamed of our lack of faith?  But God doesn’t condemn us; He strengthens us and tells us to do something great ourselves.
    But again, Peter is one of those people who needs lessons to be taught again and again and again.  He has his moments of greatness, but usually they are followed by a quick fall afterwards.  Think of Matthew 16 where He proclaims that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of the Living God.  Our Lord blesses Peter and gives him the keys to the kingdom of heaven, promising to build His Church upon Peter and making Peter the first pope.  And then, a few verses later, after our Lord announced His Passion, Peter tells Christ, “That’s not the plan,” to which Christ responds, “Get behind me, Satan.”  Later in the Gospels, the Pharisees will ask Peter if Christ pays the temple tax, and, without consulting, Peter says He does.  But Christ points out how this makes no sense, since He is the Lord of the temple.  But then He helps Peter catch a fish that will pay the temple tax for both Peter and Christ.  We are all aware of Peter swearing that He will never abandon the Lord, even if everyone else does, and hours later denying that he even knows Christ.  In John 21, to make up for the denial, our Lord asks Peter three times if he loves Him.  And then Peter is commanded to care for the Church, and is told that He will die by others dressing him and leading him where he does not want to go.  And even after that great dialogue, Peter starts to wonder about John and what will happen to him, and our Lord has to tell Peter not to worry, but simply to follow Him.  And lastly, even right before his martyrdom, St. Peter seeks to leave Rome as Nero’s persecution is intensifying.  But exiting Rome on the Appian Way, Peter sees Christ walking towards Rome, and asks, “Domine, quo vadis?”–“Lord, where are you going?”  The Lord tells Peter that He is going to be crucified a second time, and at that moment, Peter realizes that he cannot leave Rome, but must suffer for Christ, and ends up being crucified upside down.

From the Church Domine Quo Vadis in Rome

     

Do not be afraid if you don’t always understand the ways in which God works.  Do not be afraid if you sometimes wonder if the Lord can do great things in your life.  Do not be afraid when you realize He can, and you recognize your sinfulness.  If our Lord can work with Peter, He can work with you.  “Be not afraid” and follow our Lord’s invitation, who lives and reigns with the Father and the Holy Spirit, God for ever and ever.  Amen.