Simple, and Yet Complicated

 Thirty-First Sunday in Ordinary Time

    So simple, and yet so complicated.  Love God and love your neighbor.  It’s as easy and as difficult as that.  And even simply understanding the two great commandments is key to being on the right path to heaven, as Jesus tells the scribe in the Gospel today.  But, while it’s easy to say that all we have to do is love God and love our neighbor, it does require some unpacking.
    First of all, we need to understand what love is.  Modern culture is less than helpful when it comes to defining love.  We are told: love is never having to say you’re sorry; love is a feeling or an emotion; what is love? Baby don’t hurt me; love is love; to quote a somewhat contemporary movie: “Love is like oxygen.  Love is a many-splendored thing.  Love lifts us up where we belong.  All you need is love.”  
    Love, though, from a Catholic point of view, and I’m stealing here from Bishop Barron, is willing the good of the other.  Love is an action that pursues the true happiness of the other.  To quote St. Paul (a bit more solid than a secular definition), “Love is patient, love is kind.  It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury.”  Love means working for the good of the other, even when it means the denial of personal goods.  And if we want an image of love, we need look no further than Jesus on the crucifix, which is love made incarnate.  Jesus acted for our good, even when it meant His own death, just so that we could enter heaven and have eternal happiness.  That is certainly willing the good of the other, acting for the good of the other.
    So how do we love?  St. Augustine says, “Love, and do what you will.”  Does this mean that we can do anything as long as we feel like it’s good for the other?  No, and Augustine would not agree with that.  If God is love, as the Scriptures say in St. John’s first epistle, then there is a measure of what love does, which cannot contradict the nature of love.  I cannot say that I am loving God or neighbor if it involves breaking a commandment.  I cannot say that I am loving God or neighbor if my actions go against something we are taught as a matter of faith or morals in the Bible or authoritatively by the Church.  If God is love, and Jesus is God, and the Church is the Mystical Body of Jesus Christ, then when the Church teaches something with authority (as a matter of faith and morals), we are learning what love is, and how to love (and sometimes what love is not, and how not to love).  
    So how do we know if we’re loving God and loving our neighbor?  Do we will the good that God desires?  Do we will the true good of our neighbor, not just acting in a way that makes our neighbor feel good?  Sometimes homilies can be a bit broad and vague, so let’s break it down a little further.
    If you skip Mass out of laziness or prioritize something else (e.g., sports) as more important than worshiping God, you are not loving God fully.  You may love God in other ways, but you are not loving God in that way.  If you reject one of the dogmatic teachings of the Church, or think that the Church cannot tell you what to do in a particular area of your life, like the bedroom, then you are not loving God fully.  You may love God by giving your obedience of faith and morals in other areas, but you are missing out on loving God as God wants to be loved.  
    If you give someone the bird while driving, you are not loving your neighbor fully.  If you gossip about your fellow employee who gets on everyone’s nerves, you are not loving your neighbor fully.  If you see you neighbor falling into sin and do not correct him or her in a charitable and prudent way, you are not loving your neighbor fully.  If you have sex before marriage or live with your girlfriend or boyfriend, or even fiancé before marriage, you are not loving your neighbor fully.  In all those ways, and many more, you are not willing the good of the other.  It may feel good; it may feel very good.  But it is not, in the end, the actual good of the other.
    Family life is a great analogy for understanding love.  You cannot say you fully love your spouse if you hold back in an area of your life from him or her, or do something that you know upsets your spouse.  You may love in other ways, but you are not fully willing your spouse’s good.  Or if you let your children do whatever they want, like eating ice cream every day for dinner, or never making children go to school or help clean the house, you are not fully loving your children.  You may love them in other ways, but you are not fully willing their good, since the good of the other often includes not following every desire that we have.  Love–willing the good of the other–does not always feel good, but it is always directed toward what is truly good.  
    Sometimes we struggle at knowing what is truly good, and that is what makes loving God and our neighbor so difficult.  We can easily confuse what is good and what is delightful.  The best guide for knowing what is truly good is God, and God has spoken to us to help us know the good through the Scriptures and through the Church.  If you’re ever wondering if you are willing the good of God or your neighbor, look towards the Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Those two books will help you to know if you are being truly loving, and if you are “not far from the kingdom of God.”