Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time
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| The "Impressive Clergyman" |
But marriage is quite a serious business. It’s serious business because it’s so beautiful, and we take extra care with those things that are so precious. I may not care about the paper plate, or even the usual dinner plate that I use for eating, but I take really good care of the fine china that I use.
At an Orthodox wedding that I attended at the end of August in Traverse City, the Orthodox priest said that God was creating something new at the wedding, as the couple began their married life together. Our Catholic understanding of marriage and the Orthodox understanding of marriage are slightly different, but I thought that was a beautiful image of what happens at a wedding: the two become one; something new, a family is created that never existed before. God, in His love, creates, just as He created in the Garden of Eden.
This new creation is meant to be an unbreakable bond, as were Adam and Eve. They were the perfect helpers for each other. No other could be a perfect helper: only the woman for the man, and the man for the woman. And that is part of why Catholic cannot accept homosexual so-called marriage, as Pope Francis recently reaffirmed. In Adam and Eve we see the original plan for marriage, which is itself a creation by God. And since God created it, no other, not even a government, can change what God created.
This also goes to the indissolubility of the marriage, that was noted even in the Book of Genesis, and reaffirmed by Jesus Himself in our Gospel today. Because God has created something that is new, because the two are no longer two, but one flesh, no human being can separate that which God has joined. And so Jesus teaches that if a man were to divorce his wife, or the wife to divorce her husband, and either of them were to remarry, they would be committing adultery.
This seems harsh. I am willing to bet that we all, in our families, have couples who have divorced. Sometimes we see that the marriage is very unhappy, and sometimes one or both spouses can even be abusive towards each other, in words and, sadly, sometimes even with physical violence. Certainly, we would say, God does not want the couple to remain together and risk emotional and physical pain, and sometimes even death.
In those circumstances where a couple cannot (and sometimes should not) remain together, the Church offers the option of separation, where the couple remains married, but has no common life together. Or, the Church offers the possibility, where appropriate, of a Declaration of Invalidity, and annulment, that looks at the marriage to see if one of the necessary parts of marriage was absent from the beginning, even if it looked like it was there at the time.
But this also reminds us of the importance of preparing for marriage. When a society, as a basic part of its culture, helps men and women understand how to love for each other, care for each other, support each other, and promote each other’s dignity, marriage prep is, we might say, something in the water. But in our current times, that’s not the case. The scourge of pornography affects men and women across the board, and instills in those who use it the idea that the other simply exists for use and sexual gratification. Our digital age, too, does not help people develop true friendships, but makes each person easily jettisoned the minute they challenge an opinion we have as we unfriend and unfollow that person. And even our consumerist mentality creeps into marriage, as we throw away things that don’t work, rather than working on fixing them.
All this makes a proper understanding and catechesis in marriage all the more necessary for Catholics. Our diocese is trying to do more with marriage prep, in order to make sure that people understand what they are getting into when they say, “I do.” We can no longer take it for granted that Catholics understand the Catholic view of marriage.
But, we also need to support marriages after the wedding. Weddings have become like baptisms: a big ceremony and celebration, and then you don’t see the person again in church. Part of that is our (the church’s) fault for not providing more for couples after the wedding. I know Deacon Mark wants to be active in marriage enrichment, and I would also like to be able to offer times when couples can come together for a date night which also gives them tools to improve their marriage, even if there’s nothing wrong with it.
Marriage is so important, because it’s the bedrock of any society. Marriage is so important for Catholics because it is meant to be an icon of the love between Christ and His Church. It is a new creation of God that needs to be cared for and nurtured, just like the rest of God’s creation. Let’s commit ourselves today to praying for married couples, and assisting them, to the best of our ability, to live that beautiful vocation as Christ desires.