31 December 2012

How to Be a Holy Family


Feast of the Holy Family
            If there’s one time of year that we associate with family, it certainly would be Christmas time.  Whether our family is far or near, almost everyone I know tries to make it home to be with family for at least part of Christmas.  Sometimes the weather gets in the way.  Others cannot be with family due to service in the military.  But the goal is always to be home for Christmas time.
            It makes great sense, then, that in this Octave of Christmas, the eight days that the Church celebrates Christmas Day itself, that we celebrate the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.  We take time to focus on that First Family of our Faith.  We try to emulate their example, and be a holy family ourselves.
            The Church takes great care in protecting families.  She teaches that the family is the domestic church, the home church, because is it not the family where the faith is passed on from one generation to the next?  Is it not in the family where daily sacrifices can be offered to God as fitting worship?  Is it not from the family that we are sent out to pass on what we have received?
            In our own times, family life can be strained and difficult.  It is no longer the case that most extended families live fairly close to each other.  Whether due to the economy, or even simply due to the fact that people are more mobile now than ever before, extended families are often separated by great distances.  And time seems so much more precious now, with more opportunities for parents and children alike.  Working with the children of our parish school, in one sense I cannot imagine what it takes to make sure that Bobby is at basketball, and Denise is at dance, and Jimmy is at hockey, and Julie is practice for the clarinet, all at the same time, of course.  On the other hand, as a spiritual father of this community, I can understand as I try to make it to the sports games, the band concerts, the plays and musicals, and all the different activities of adults and children alike to show how important each person is not just to me, but to Jesus, whom I represent.
            Besides the strain within family life, there are also external pressures on the family.  While the Internet has allowed people to keep in touch and to share valuable information with each other, it has also plagued many families, especially, but not limited to, fathers or sons, with the evils of pornography, Internet and gambling addictions, and double lives.  These evils tear away at the trust that is necessary in families, and they can often lead to extra-marital affairs and the objectification of others, especially women, as means to the end of gratification.  No wonder, then, the divorce rate is up and more and more families are broken.
            In the midst of this, the Church does not merely stand as a nay-sayer, just pointing out what is wrong and the dangers.  The Church, based upon God’s Word of life and truth, offers us guides to help us be the holy family that God has created us to be.
            Our first reading mentions a first and key ingredient to a holy family: going to the temple.  Hannah had pleaded with God for a child, and the Lord had blessed her with a son, Samuel.  After Samuel was weaned, Hannah brought him to the temple of the Lord, and gave him back to God.  Now, don’t leave all your children here after today’s Mass; that’s not what I’m suggesting.  But, bringing your children to Mass with you is so important!!  To show your children that a relationship with God is key to your life is to pass on the faith and be a missionary to those who do not fully know Jesus: your children.  Children know that what you make time for is important, and if you make time for God in attending Mass on Sundays and Holydays, they will know how important that is.  If, instead, you drop them off at religious ed and then return home, or even if you let them go to class while you go to Mass, and then just let them join you half-way through, you are not helping yourself to be a holy family.  Or, if you send your child to our parish school or Lansing Catholic, but then don’t go to Mass on Sunday because they have already gone once this week, then it will be much harder to be a holy family.
            But our relationship with God has to go beyond the walls of this Church.  Prayer life as a family is also a key ingredient in order to be a holy family.  Remember that old saying, “the family that prays together stays together”?  It was a wise saying!  Prayer as a family in the home is a great way to be like the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.  And it has to go beyond Grace Before Meals.  Many parents pray with their children before bedtime, so that the child’s last activity before falling asleep is not TV, or video games, but is time spent talking and listening to God, often remembering those who need prayers in the family because of sickness or struggles.  At whatever time of day you choose, make it a habit to pray together as a family and/or read the Bible together with favorite stories, at least from the Gospel.
            There are other pieces of advice that the Church gives, based upon the Word of God and 2,000 years of being a Mother, like not making other things (including sports) a god; gathering around the table for dinner on a regular basis; guarding children from adult-themed TV shows, movies, and websites; and certainly having families support one another.  But the two I mentioned today are a good start.  Does it mean that there won’t be any difficulties?  Certainly not!  The Holy Family, as we heard in our Gospel today, wasn’t always on the same page.  Or think about the long journeys that they took, first to Egypt to escape King Herod, then to Nazareth, and St. Joseph died before Jesus began His earthly ministry.  Holy does not mean easy.  But it does mean united to God, who can help us to carry our crosses.  And what truly makes a family holy is that, each day, while juggling all the activities of family life, the family is trying to do the will of God as best as it can, and offering everything that happens to the Father as an acceptable sacrifice through Jesus the Son in the power of the Holy Spirit.          If we truly want to make society, which is just a conglomeration of families, a better, safer place, then we have to start in our own homes by making Sunday Mass a priority, by making prayer a priority, and by supporting each other in good times and in bad, so that we can strive to do the will of God, and be a holy family here in Michigan.