14 May 2012

Love One Another in the Truth


Sixth Sunday of Easter
            How fitting it is that, on Mother’s Day, love is one of the themes of the readings, especially of the second reading and the Gospel.  For many people, if asked to draw a personal representation of love, that representation of love would be a mother.  Mothers, out of love for their unborn children, bear the loving responsibility of protecting the child in the womb.  Mothers are often the ones to express love when a child is injured.  Mothers just seem to exude love.
            And so today, we hear the command of Jesus, repeated by St. John in his first epistle, to love.  In the Gospel, Jesus tells us: “‘This I command you: love one another.’”  And St. John repeats it in the second reading: “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God.”  Love is who God is, and love is made incarnate in Jesus, a love which mothers do their best to share with their children.
            St. Augustine is also quoted when it comes to love.  In Homily 7 on the First Epistle of John, St. Augustine writes, “Once for all, then, a short precept is given you: Love, and do what you will.”  In my life, I have heard many people use the phrase: Love, and do what you will.  Sometimes it’s used in a positive way.  Sometimes it’s used to defend any type of action.
            What does it mean to love?  If one of the most basic commandments of Jesus is to love one another, then to fulfill it we have to know what love means.  If we start with today’s Gospel, we see that Jesus explains one of the implications of love.  Jesus says, “‘Remain in my love.  If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love.’”  Love is rooted in obedience to Jesus and his commandments.  Love is marked by obedience to the One who is Truth.
            Truth is important with love.  Pope Benedict XVI entitled one of his Encyclicals with those two words of truth and love: Caritas in Veritate; Love in Truth.  The Holy Father points out that,

Without truth, charity [love] denigrates into sentimentality.  Love becomes an empty shell, to be filled in an arbitrary way.  In a culture without truth, this is the fatal risk facing love.  It falls prey to contingent subjective emotions and opinions, the word “love” is abused and distorted, to the point where it comes to mean the opposite.  Truth frees charity from the constraints of an emotionalism that deprives it of relational and social content…

So what does this mean practically?  It sounds nice in a theology paper, but what does it mean for the average person?  Well, Pope Benedict is talking precisely about the abuse of the word love, especially with St. Augustine’s quote, “Love, and do what you will.”  If we do not relate love to the truth that God reveals by reason and by revelation, then it stops being love. 
            We see how love is connected to truth in the response of our mothers, and other family members.  Some would say that love means giving every person what they want; that’s the most loving thing.  But the truth is that not everything we want is good for us.  How many times have children asked their mothers in the check-out line for a piece of candy, and a mother has refused because she knows the child does not need it?  The child may even throw a temper-tantrum to try to get its own way.  But the mother who loves her child knows that she cannot give the child everything it wants, because it will be bad for the child, not only in the present moment, but even in the long run.  Or the mother who grounds her child because he or she stayed out past curfew: is that any less loving?  Of course not!  It helps a child to learn that actions have consequences, and the consequences of disobedience are not fun.  That is certainly a loving act to help the child to grow and mature into the young man or woman that God has called that child to be.
            Most parents recognize how love works in principle.  They understand that what is truly loving is not always what makes their child feel good.  And yet, more and more, parents act like the principle does not apply to their child.  Their child is the exception to the rule.  Of course, eventually everyone’s child is the exception to the rule, so there becomes no rule at all.  Now, I’m not saying that you always have to let the hammer fall.  Often times mothers are great at knowing when a punishment is most loving, and when a child has already gotten the message and needs some leniency.  But more and more our society wants to separate love from truth so that you never have to tell a person “no,” or “you can’t,” or “you shouldn’t.”
            Jesus shows us what love truly is: love is sacrifice for the other.  Love means laying down your own life so that the other can live and thrive.  Jesus laid down his own life to give His people life, even though most of the people, including his disciples, abandoned Him.  He didn’t give them the Messiah they wanted, He gave them the Messiah they needed.  It’s not easy to live that love in the world.  When I walk the halls and I have to correct a child’s behavior, it’s tough to tell them that they might have to come in to school on Saturday because they crossed the line repeatedly or in a major way.  I’d rather not have to correct a child’s behavior.  I’d rather have the kids like me.  But if I truly love them, then I have to help them to know that a person cannot always give in to their desires, that being a man or woman means having self-control, that there are consequences to actions that people have to face, no matter how well intentioned they were.  Thank you, mothers, for your love.  Thank you for your sacrificial love which carried us for 9 months in the womb and continued afterwards.  Thank you for your love in truth.