14 May 2012

Love One Another in the Truth


Sixth Sunday of Easter
            How fitting it is that, on Mother’s Day, love is one of the themes of the readings, especially of the second reading and the Gospel.  For many people, if asked to draw a personal representation of love, that representation of love would be a mother.  Mothers, out of love for their unborn children, bear the loving responsibility of protecting the child in the womb.  Mothers are often the ones to express love when a child is injured.  Mothers just seem to exude love.
            And so today, we hear the command of Jesus, repeated by St. John in his first epistle, to love.  In the Gospel, Jesus tells us: “‘This I command you: love one another.’”  And St. John repeats it in the second reading: “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God.”  Love is who God is, and love is made incarnate in Jesus, a love which mothers do their best to share with their children.
            St. Augustine is also quoted when it comes to love.  In Homily 7 on the First Epistle of John, St. Augustine writes, “Once for all, then, a short precept is given you: Love, and do what you will.”  In my life, I have heard many people use the phrase: Love, and do what you will.  Sometimes it’s used in a positive way.  Sometimes it’s used to defend any type of action.
            What does it mean to love?  If one of the most basic commandments of Jesus is to love one another, then to fulfill it we have to know what love means.  If we start with today’s Gospel, we see that Jesus explains one of the implications of love.  Jesus says, “‘Remain in my love.  If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love.’”  Love is rooted in obedience to Jesus and his commandments.  Love is marked by obedience to the One who is Truth.
            Truth is important with love.  Pope Benedict XVI entitled one of his Encyclicals with those two words of truth and love: Caritas in Veritate; Love in Truth.  The Holy Father points out that,

Without truth, charity [love] denigrates into sentimentality.  Love becomes an empty shell, to be filled in an arbitrary way.  In a culture without truth, this is the fatal risk facing love.  It falls prey to contingent subjective emotions and opinions, the word “love” is abused and distorted, to the point where it comes to mean the opposite.  Truth frees charity from the constraints of an emotionalism that deprives it of relational and social content…

So what does this mean practically?  It sounds nice in a theology paper, but what does it mean for the average person?  Well, Pope Benedict is talking precisely about the abuse of the word love, especially with St. Augustine’s quote, “Love, and do what you will.”  If we do not relate love to the truth that God reveals by reason and by revelation, then it stops being love. 
            We see how love is connected to truth in the response of our mothers, and other family members.  Some would say that love means giving every person what they want; that’s the most loving thing.  But the truth is that not everything we want is good for us.  How many times have children asked their mothers in the check-out line for a piece of candy, and a mother has refused because she knows the child does not need it?  The child may even throw a temper-tantrum to try to get its own way.  But the mother who loves her child knows that she cannot give the child everything it wants, because it will be bad for the child, not only in the present moment, but even in the long run.  Or the mother who grounds her child because he or she stayed out past curfew: is that any less loving?  Of course not!  It helps a child to learn that actions have consequences, and the consequences of disobedience are not fun.  That is certainly a loving act to help the child to grow and mature into the young man or woman that God has called that child to be.
            Most parents recognize how love works in principle.  They understand that what is truly loving is not always what makes their child feel good.  And yet, more and more, parents act like the principle does not apply to their child.  Their child is the exception to the rule.  Of course, eventually everyone’s child is the exception to the rule, so there becomes no rule at all.  Now, I’m not saying that you always have to let the hammer fall.  Often times mothers are great at knowing when a punishment is most loving, and when a child has already gotten the message and needs some leniency.  But more and more our society wants to separate love from truth so that you never have to tell a person “no,” or “you can’t,” or “you shouldn’t.”
            Jesus shows us what love truly is: love is sacrifice for the other.  Love means laying down your own life so that the other can live and thrive.  Jesus laid down his own life to give His people life, even though most of the people, including his disciples, abandoned Him.  He didn’t give them the Messiah they wanted, He gave them the Messiah they needed.  It’s not easy to live that love in the world.  When I walk the halls and I have to correct a child’s behavior, it’s tough to tell them that they might have to come in to school on Saturday because they crossed the line repeatedly or in a major way.  I’d rather not have to correct a child’s behavior.  I’d rather have the kids like me.  But if I truly love them, then I have to help them to know that a person cannot always give in to their desires, that being a man or woman means having self-control, that there are consequences to actions that people have to face, no matter how well intentioned they were.  Thank you, mothers, for your love.  Thank you for your sacrificial love which carried us for 9 months in the womb and continued afterwards.  Thank you for your love in truth.

07 May 2012

Facebook Friends with Jesus


Fifth Sunday of Easter
            Stay connected: that’s what social media says it can do for you.  It tells you that if you use the site, then you can keep track of all your friends’ (and general acquaintances’) birthdays, see what they are up to, rejoice in their triumphs, weep with them in sorrow, and stay connected. 
            And yet, the social fabric of our society is very disconnected.  You can have 700 friends on Facebook, and not really have anyone with which to share truly personal details.  You can follow hundreds of people on Twitter, read all of their accomplishments, sing along with their mopey song lyrics after a break up, and retweet their hilarious messages, and not truly have a real relationship with that person.  Now don’t get me wrong: I have no problem per se with Facebook, Twitter, or social media.  But, what I have noticed is that as much as social media says that it connects people, there are way too many people who feel adrift, without a true friend in the world.
            So when Jesus tells us today in the Gospel, “‘I am the vine, you are the branches.  Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit,’” our idea of staying connected to Jesus might be a little skewed.  After all, we’ve liked that picture on Facebook that says, “If you share this picture with your friends, Jesus will acknowledge you in heaven,” and we’ve retweeted the tweet that says, “Retweet if you love Jesus; keep scrolling if you love Satan.”  So we’re connected to Jesus, right? 
            Jesus reminds us that, “‘Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless your remain in me.’”  Our life, especially our spiritual life, depends on our attachment to Jesus.  If we are connected, then we bear fruit.  If we are separated, then we die, just as a branch connected to the vine bears grapes, while the braches that have been separated from the vine die and are good for nothing other than fuel for the fire. 
            More and more as a society, we don’t know how to be connected with each other.  We try to fake it and take the easy way out.  We’re so busy, either with our own schedules, or those of our family, that we are losing the ability to stay in touch with each other, even when it’s our own families.  How long has it been since you had a nice, Sunday dinner, where you sat around the table and just spent time with one another: hearing about what’s going on, sharing jokes and funny stories, supporting each other in hard times?  Some families still do, and they tend to be happier families.  Too often, though, there’s a game on Sunday, or work to be done, and if the family eats at home, it’s whenever each person wants, not together, and is usually enjoyed while watching TV, so there’s no real conversation.  We run around, and get fast food, and are experts at doing lots of things.  But we have become novices at simply being together, which accounts for the deep feelings of loneliness and separation that exist, especially among our youth.
            And because we don’t know how to be connected in our human relationships, we also are lost in how to be connected in our spiritual relationships.  More and more people come to me and say, “Father, I feel like God has abandoned me.  I can’t feel anything from God.”  For some, this is due to the fact that they do not know how to be connected to God, other than the shallow connections that are as ubiquitous as the dandelions in a field of grass this time of year.  So let me suggest a few ways to be connected to Jesus.
1.     Carve out daily time for God.  We’re all busy, I know.  I often feel like I’m running from one thing to another.  But, I have found that the more I am able to set aside blocks of time: 30 minutes here, 5 minutes there, 15 minutes there, the more I can respond to the spiritual needs of the parish, because I am more connected to the vine, the life, the wisdom, the patience that comes from God.  Just like an iPhone, which cannot work very long without connecting the tether to an outlet, so our souls cannot be refreshed unless they are connected to God in daily talking and listening with Him.
2.     Follow the commandments.  In our second reading, St. John tells us that the way we know we belong to the truth—Jesus—is that we keep His commandments.  Do we follow the 10 Commandments, and the precepts of the Church?  Do we strive to live an honest life, putting God first, others second, and ourselves last?  And when we fail, as we all will, then return to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, to be re-grafted onto the vine of life.
3.     Enjoy Mass.  Now, you might think this is outside of your control.  Maybe you don’t like the homily; maybe you don’t like the music; maybe the pew’s not as relaxing as you would like; maybe you can’t stand that young priest.  But, while we can’t control the homily, the music, the pews, or the priest, we can come to Mass thanking God that we can set aside time to rest and relax in Him.  We can come to Mass at least 5 minutes early for silent prayer, and not leave Mass immediately after communion, rushing off to the next event, but make time to be with the Lord.  Vatican II taught that the Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christian life.  It is where we get our energy to be Christians and it orients us, if we are open, to the eternal liturgy of heaven where the angels and saints (and hopefully someday we will be saints) worship God.
4.     Read your monthly copy of FAITH Magazine, or check out or download a spiritual book, like The Lord by Romano Guardini, or Story of a Soul, by St. Thérèse of Lisiuex, or Peace of Soul by Archbishop Fulton Sheen, or To Whom Shall We Go? by Timothy Cardinal Dolan, or another Catholic book.  The soul is not separate from the body, and so feeding our mind with spiritual reading also feeds our souls. 
We live in a disconnected world.  We are so busy doing things with other people or for other people, that we have forgotten how to simply be with other people, including Jesus.  And no matter how many friends we have on Facebook; no matter how many followers we have on Twitter, we are not going to feel whole, to feel connected, unless we are united to Jesus the Vine.  Take time to spend with each other.  Make time for Jesus.  It will be the best investment you will ever make.